Letter To Fans December 2000

Greetings My Fellow Redheads

It's an exciting time my friends! I'm launching the exclusive location for all Red Peters paraphernalia, my new on-line boutique, "Shirts 'n Shit"!!!

It'll have several cool T-shirt designs, some really half-baked stickers and my proudest achievement, my very own brand of Pink Hairy Banana Seeds!

That's right. Pink Hairy Bananas. This is no joke. Mr. Bogus and I were surfing the net one day and made this eye opening discovery. They really grow and they make beautiful ornamental indoor plants. And they grow big, really big. Like 5-7 feet tall with 3 foot green leaves! And best of all, they sprout soft, pink hairy bananas!

You're probably thinking, "Hmmm... this would make a great holiday stocking stuffer." Fellas. You'll be able to ask chicks to come over to your place to see your big, pink hairy banana. Won't that be fun? And girls... wouldn't you love to get a big, pink hairy banana for Christmas? I know you would.

It's also an exciting time for me because this is when all the radio stations start playing my two Christmas songs, "Holy Shit, It's Christmas!" and "You Ain't Getting Shit For Christmas!". I just finished sending out "bleeped" versions to all of them, so be sure to call your favorite DJ and request my songs. Let's face it, the holidays just wouldn't be the same otherwise. And please request it on Dr. Demento's Show too. Hey wait a minute. I think I feel a new song coming on. Oh-oh... maybe next year there'll be three tunes!

Did you know that "You Ain't Getting Shit" is on a new Universal Music Christmas compilation? Oh yeah! Plus, it's the first song on the album! I'm on there with Beck, Spinal Tap, The Smithereens, Sonic Youth and lots more. Not bad, huh? It's called, "Sleighed: The Other Side of Christmas" and it's on Hip-O Records. You can find it in all the stores and on-line too.

You know, they say Christmas is a time for giving, at least that's what the Good Book says, so I'd like to take this opportunity to give thanks to a few folks for keeping me in the pink this past year.

I want to first thank all the nuts I hang with, over at Ball Bag Records. My writing team, Babe Marino, Art Sandcrafts, Kook, Mr. Bogus and Herbie Handrelease. Thanks guys, without you I'm nothing.

A hug and a kiss go out to Owen Money, my manager, who held me up as we toured Middle America this past spring. And I cannot thank enough, Rich The Webwrangler who turns all the nonsense I supply him with, into this fantastic looking website.

Thank-you Burt and Doug and all the good folks over at Big Daddy for making sure my records are in all the stores. And special thanks to John and Carl over at E-Z Wider for sponsoring my big show on Cape Cod this summer and for whose friendship and products I truly appreciate.

But most of all, I'd like to thank you, my fans for your support, your "fan-e-mail" (pronounced fanny-mail) and for buying my records (and now... other stupid shit). It's you guys who motivate me to come up with more songs and ideas, and it's to you who I dedicate... 2001!

Keep stroking it, Happy Holidays and don't step in any.



ps - Spread the word. Give someone you love the gift of my music. Check the order page for a special holiday offer.

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